Love is a wonderful; F***ed up thing…


You’re talking to a girl who has had her heart broken, cried for continuous hours, yelled and screamed for help.  A girl who turned her back on the world and a girl who did nothing but love someone who couldn’t, wouldn’t, love her back.    

“Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are and how they fool me every time?”    

If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating in rhythm with mine…knowing that I would never find that feeling with anyone else.  You treat life like a picture; but it’s not a moment frozen in time.  It’s not going to wait for you to make up your mind.    

I’m sick of all these broken love quotes, sayings, and stories; but there’s nothing else for me to fall back on.  You’d never guess a girl so happy on the outside is breaking down on the inside; walking around with her heart shattered.  The girl who laughs her head off everyday; you’d never guess she’s covering up a million tears behind her smile.  I’ve learned that goodbyes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories (good or bad) will always bring tears, and words can never replace feelings. ” Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fall in order to know.  Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes have been washed with tears.”    

“The words you scribbled on the wall, the lots of friends you didn’t have…I’ll call you when the time is right (or when I’m too weak to take a stand…”    

No more holding it in; how many years can I pretend that nothing ever goes the way it should?  No more sitting in this somewhere-in-between place hoping that you may one day see things my way.  The truth is that I don’t think you ever understood or will ever understand.  I rip up your pictures, throw away your letters…I turn off our song and cry even harder.  I look at my face and see what you’ve done.  My eyes can’t betray…I hate you because you’re so beautiful to me still…so perfectly…imperfect.  I hate you because I loved you too much.  You destroyed me and for that I’m bitter; I’m damaged.  Behind every “I’m fine” is a mind full of confusion.    

I want a guy that will make me happy; someone that will make me smile every time I hear his voice.  Someone that will love me unconditionally.  You’re weird, obnoxious, crazy and a complete idiot; and yet I can still think of you and smile.  Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect; it means you have decided to look beyond someones imperfections.    

“Everybody wants happiness; nobody wants pain.  But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain…”    

Love me without restrictions, want me without demand, accept me how I am.  You gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, always forgive; but never forget.  Learn from your mistakes, never live with regret.  People change and things go wrong; but just remember… LIFE GOES ON.    

LOVE: It’s such a short word; easy to spell but hard to define.  I am a hopeless romantic.  I believe in wishing on stars, soul mates, and love that never ends.  And yet, sometimes, I feel like I’m the only single person alive.  I feel so alone.  No matter what I try to do; I’m often left in solitude.    

My heart has to prepare itself for whatever bullets may come out of your mouth.  I’m living in an empty room with all the windows smashed; my heart aching like I’m walking on broken glass. “She’s an artist; a painter actually.  See the “smile” she’s painted on her face?  It’s her most famous masterpiece yet…”     

**This entire blog was pretty much a compilation of other’s writings.  It just spoke to my heart and I wanted to repost most of it and it all just seemed to flow together… Love can be a wonderful; F***ed up thing…but in the end the experience is worth whatever the outcome may be.  Life is about the journey; not the destination.  I wish all of you the best in life, love, friendships, and your pursuits of happiness!  Have a blessed day!    


    • Mom
    • August 17th, 2010

    When I was 17 years old, an old friend once told me, “People will let you down whether they mean to or not.” So I learned this lesson early on. Thru the years, I learned no one, not men, no one can make us happy. We have to make ourselves happy. How do we do that? That, each of us has to figure out. But it is possible!!!! I am living proof! Love and Hugs, Mom 🙂

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