Posts Tagged ‘ Girlfriends ’

“…far beneath the bitter snows, lies the seed that with the sun’s love, in the spring becomes the rose…”

I don’t remember a lot of things; usually I cannot help but be clutched by the whittling hands of life.  Sometimes when I sit perfectly still and trick myself into a soft slumber, my dreams swiftly manage to escort me away from my weary life to places where the memories that I can never grasp are born.  In my dreams I may visit a lush though over growing garden, deep in the crevices of May.  The amber sun bores heartily on my back as I explore the garden. I lean over the harlequin grass to move the messy thorns with such care not to harm myself, I spy an object of such beauty that not even the garden’s excitements could not compare. As a larger quantity of thorn-ridden branches fall clumsily to the grass, something amidst the tiny alcove where the thorns were sparkles.

Such an object would be found being sculpted by angels in the depths of heaven; it’s a rose.
The rose shimmers as I reach out to caress one of the seemingly everlasting rose petals.  To touch the cerise petal would have the same effect as if you were to stroke a dove’s feather.  I look back to my hands and gander at what they have become; the rose’s angelic magic had gently wafted away from the petals onto my hand.  I could see other beatific glitter which was lightly floating away in the wind to other pastures, much further away, perhaps some with roses that were as blue as an impossible moon emitting a serene ultramarine.
Surrounded by thoughtful, tranquil scenes, the depth of my slumber intensified…

Homemade Limoncello

I’ve always wanted to make homemade limoncello. For those of you who’ve never had it, limoncello is an Italian lemon-flavored liquor. It’s often sipped as an after-dinner drink because it’s quite sweet. To get the flavor just right, making this requires around 80 days for it to steep. That gives me just enough time to make it and bottle it for gifts for the holidays (I plan to use cute little bottles with custom-made labels and tags).

I found a great recipe online at, and I’ve typed it up and re-formatted it here should you want to print it out and give it a whirl. If it’s too pixilated or fuzzy on your screen, be sure to double-click on the image for a higher quality version. Or, simply pop on over to the Epicurious website. Happy sipping!

Footprints in the Sand

The Secret History of the Carolina Yayas


Long before the world was like we know it now, there existed a Wise and Mighty Tribe of YaYas.  The yayas were a band of women, strong and beautiful, who roamed the country.  The stars in the sky loved them so much that they would dip down and allow the yayas to ride through the sky, so that they could travel from Louisiana to all around the world.      

Our mothers who raised us, were the first yayas and were most beautiful and loving.  People adored them and no one messed with the tribal yayas.  So that we could remember who we are, a great book was written about our story.  It is passed from yaya to yaya and holds our Divine Secrets.  From this book, we remember the good, the bond of true friendships and the love from beautiful souls who are family, even when they are not born into our family.  We also learned to love the inner gifts that naturally spring from being raised as a southern woman, which include charm, manners, quiet strength, and the ability to laugh at one’s self and not take things too seriously.  We remember that the meaning of life is about opening up, being in touch with our spirit and our feelings and finding the friendships of a lifetime.      

The Lady of the Moon is our guardian and her silver light reflects the goodness in us all.  She is here to teach us that the true mission of the yayas is to empower women and serve as a place to help us remember who and what we are.  We know that women are divine love, full of generosity, kindness, creativity, and wonder.  We wish to help women “remember” that these gifts are within each of us.  We share them with others, so that our inner light can come out and shine.  The Lady of the Moon, knew that so many of us had been forced to move from our birth places and so she promised to be with us always.  She also told us stories of how we would one day meet our other yaya sisters and be reunited.  We no longer live in our birth homes and we know that our town does not realize we are loyal, but, we the yayas, secretly know our history and we are loyal to our tribal sisters and the women who were there before us.      

From this we have grown and created our motto, which is to Live Well, Laugh Often, and Love Much.  We come together in appreciation of women and sisterhood and celebrate how much joy there is in this world.  We believe that in coming together, if only for a few brief moments, that the spirit of the yaya restores us, renews us, and reminds us of the wonderful women that we are and were always meant to be.  This is the true spirit of the yayas , our journey in life, of traveling to the next level, and paving the way for the deeper connection.      

“Friendship is a rainbow between two hearts…”      

What does it mean to be a yaya:      

This story speaks to the incredible power and love of women’s relationships.  I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did:      

“Young and newly married, I relaxed under a pecan tree on a hot Texas summer day drinking iced tea and getting to know my new sister-in-law, Estelle.  Not much older than I, but already the mother of three, Estelle seemed to me experienced and wise.      

‘Get yourself some girlfriends,’ she advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. “You are going to need girlfriends.  Go places with them; do things with them.’  What a funny piece of advice, I thought.  Hadn’t I just gotten married?  Hadn’t I just joined the couple-world?  I was a married woman, for goodness sake, not a young girl who needed girlfriends!      

But I listened to this new sister-in-law.  I got myself some girlfriends.  As the years tumbled by, one after another, I gradually came to understand that Estelle knew what she was talking about.  I remembered that she used the word ‘girlfriends’ with emphasis.  As I went along, I discovered the subtle difference between friends and girlfriends.  You go to work with friends go to dinner with friends, go to church with friends, belong to clubs with friends.  You send friends greeting cards.  You need friends in your life; all girlfriends were once only friends.      

But girlfriends are different.  I offer this praise to girlfriends:      

  • Girlfriends don’t compete and aren’t jealous of each other
  • Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you are sick
  • Girlfriends keep your secrets sacred
  • Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it; sometimes you take it: sometimes you don’t
  • Girlfriends don’t always tell you you’re right; but they are always honest
  • Girlfriends still love you; even when they don’t agree with your choices
  • Girlfriends laugh with you and you don’t need canned jokes to start the laughter
  • Girlfriends pull you out of jams
  • Girlfriends don’t keep a mental calendar of who hosted what event last, who spent the most money, etc.
  • Girlfriends are the friends who came into your life and never left your side; they’re the one’s you call when you need a reality check, a shoulder to cry on, to celebrate your joys…and who will be there for you no matter what else they may have going on in their lives
  • Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant, and come to you genuinely when the hard times come
  • Girlfriends listen when you lose a job, a boyfriend, or husband
  • Girlfriends listen when you’re children break your heart
  • Girlfriends listen when your parent’s minds and bodies fall apart

My girlfriends bless my life.  Once we were young, with no idea of the incredible joys or the incredible sorrows that lay ahead.  Nor did we know how much we would need each other.  I want to tell all younger women to take my sister-in-laws advice!”      

Dance Like No One is Watching and Love Like You’ll Never Get Hurt!      

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice.  But for those who love, TIME is an eternity! – Henry Van Dyke      

Women everywhere: Take heed…

“Sisterhood is many things. It’s a warm smile on a cold and rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello… It’s all that a good and lasting friendship is, only better. It’s treasured. It’s sacred. It’s knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It’s dreams shared, and goals achieved. It’s counting on others and being counted on. It is real.”

Sisterhood is the essence of all the wisdom of the ages, distilled into a single word. You cannot see sisterhood, neither can you hear it nor taste it. But you can feel it a hundred times a day. It is a pat on the back, a smile of encouragement. It’s someone to share with, to celebrate your achievements.” ~ Anonymous

I first went to see the movie “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” in 2002  or 2003 when it came out in theaters.  I went with my “girls” from Sharp-Rees Stealy when I was living in San Diego.  As Corrine, Martha, Alma, and I piled into the theater, you could feel the strong bonds of friendship, love, and an empowerment of women all through the room.  Friendship is something I value and cherish.  True friends are always there with a shoulder to cry on, a mirror to shine your true reflection back on you when you need it the most, to cuss you out when you’re screwing up…You may fight, scream, laugh or cry…but in the end you will always know that person is there for you and has your best intentions at heart.  She’ll be your army when you need or a safety net to catch you.  It’s a bond that can never be broken.  Friendship comes in so many forms: a mother, a daughter, a sister, or someone you hand-picked to share your journey with.  Wherever you may find that bond: Cherish it, value it, nurture it…and above all…never let it go.

I hope every one of you has someone in your life you can truly consider a friend.  I have been blessed with the friendships I have in my life: A wonderful mother who I can always count on to be there for me; and I, her.  A beautiful sister with whom I share the best of memories.  Friends who were hand chosen by me.  Some of whom I may not have directly in my life anymore but that I miss and think of often.  Surround yourself with that love and you can never be lost.

We are raised as females to be strong, independent women, who crave the love of a man to share our hopes, dreams, successes and failures with.  While I am also a hopeless romantic hoping for that very thing; I am also acutely aware of how much the relationships you share with other women are vital to happiness. 

So, if you haven’t done it in a while, have a get-to-together with your closest friends.  Have a Sex-In-The-City night and catch up over cosmos.  Have a BBQ at the lake and just socialize; enjoy the company of your friends.  Or if you have found friendship in other area codes: Send a text, call them, or message them on facebook just to let them know you’re thinking about them. 

We all get so busy in our day-to-day lives: work, family, children, etc. that often friendships fall by the way side.  Don’t let that happen to you.  Embrace life, embrace being a woman, and most importantly; embrace your friendships: family and friends.  Make today count.  Don’t be a tree that simply has branches but can’t establish roots.  Get grounded and enjoy life.


“We call ourselves friends for a reason; After today I don’t know the definition…”

I’m starting to find it comical how some people actually think it’s ok to treat someone else with a complete lack of disregard, indifference, malice, and a mean spirit.  Then, when you finally say “ENOUGH!” suddenly you are the bad guy and just so “hard to please.”  How about just showing some common decency and respect …along with…I don’t know… some consideration…and see where that gets you… UGH!  And people should remember that just because you go around talking smack doesn’t mean that anyone actually believes it.  People that actually know the people involved know what the REAL situation is and if they don’t- once they did I’m sure they would see things in a whole new light.  It’s easy to point the finger at someone else and blame them for everything.  The fact is: It takes two to tango and it’s a two way street in any relationship; friendship or otherwise…And I can’t stand people who feel they have to pick and pick and pick and throw lug after lug, jab after jab to start an argument.  If you have something to say or need to get it off your chest; JUST SAY IT! Damn!         
Yes, this is my rant-of-the-day.  I have been struggling with this for sometime.  How does someone who is your “best friend” that you have lived with for the past four years – been through hell and back together suddenly turn their back on you because they are in pursuit of a new dream of a life with a new man?  I mean, honestly, isn’t it possible to still maintain friendships when you are in a relationship?  And just because they are now in a “relationship” does that mean its ok for them to become callous and just plain mean toward you because they think that somehow impresses their their significant other…or maybe it’s because they suddenly think they’re “better than”?  I mean obviously, the dynamics of your friendship is going to change.  We’re no longer two single chicks runnin amuck in the city on a saturday night.  (We moved past that years ago…)  I just feel so lost, and baffled, and genuinely hurt by this persons indifference and lack of any consideration toward me.  And when is it ok to suddenly start lying to your “best friend” or feeling you have to be censored because you now have a boyfriend?
I’m just feeling a little lost.  We’ve made the decision to go our separate ways.  In (30) days we will be moving into our own apartments (though we’ll be in the same building.)  I know it sounds like baby steps but I think it’s actually a giant leap for both of us.  I have never lived fully on my own without a roommate.  I am scared, happy, excited, anxious…you have NO idea! lol  But, honestly, more than anything I am just hoping it will salvage what little friendship we may still have.  It’s pathetic when you live in the same house as someone and you don’t even speak.  I’ve tried talking to her, tried making things right, tried pointing out why I feel the way I do and its only met with eye-rolls, “Whatever”(s), “You’re never happy”, etc. etc.  I never have my feelings validated.  So…I’ve decided to stop trying.  I figure if it’s not important to her for us to remain close…well the best way to say it is, “Never make someone a priority when to them you are just an option.”
I just miss my friend.